Gouda Goodness


Herman is an amazing, little, orange mouse whose true story proves the old cliche that fact is stranger than fiction. He lives inside the walls of the great Cathedral located in Chucktown. Chucktown, of course, is a historic city in the very heart of the Bible Belt.

A lot of our more informed readers already know of the traditional connection between mice and the Catholic Church. This connection is easily traced back to St. Martin de Porres in Peru in the early 1600’s — and almost certainly goes a lot further back then that.

Nice mice are actually believed to have become part of Catholic life when St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland early in the fifth century AD. The absence of snakes enabled Ireland’s mouse population to flourish, and the notoriously amicable Irish people embraced a growing population of immigrant mice in Catholic parishes and churches across the island nation.

Mice in the Catholic Church today are said to be as common as Irishmen. They inhabit every Catholic church and building around the world, making mice a uniquely Catholic (universal) phenomenon. For those still unacquainted with this rich history, Herman Nootks is a great place to start your education!

Of course, we realize that many of you do keep abreast of what goes on in the Church, so you almost certainly knew these things. You might also have known that, not only is Herman Chucktown’s Cathedral mouse, but he’s also a superhero of the faith. What you might not realize, however, is that superheroes of the faith are only a notch or two below the greatly respected doctors of the faith. So it’s a pretty big deal that this little mouse has been declared a superhero of the faith.

With these elements as our backdrop, we’re documenting Herman’s story and publishing it here online in serial format. Herman’s story will appear like an old-fashioned comicstrip, but make no mistake about it — it is a very real story!

The Catholic Roads team has been given unprecedented, “insider access” to this remarkable mouse by the Diocese under the condition that we let him tell his own story to the world. We will be recording it on the front porch at our retreat center, a fitting place since country porches are well-known as the very best setting for storytelling.

So here’s the first part of Herman’s story. It helps explain how an orange mouse became a Cathedral mouse in the Diocese of Chucktown. Herman refers to this part of his life’s story as “Gouda Goodness.”

Well we’re almost done with this story. It’s the story of how Herman got his start in the Diocese of Chucktown. And when we finish, Herman will tell you how this Cathedral mouse became a superhero of the faith too!


Our Porch Stories are always absolutely, positively, 100% true exactly as you hear them — except for the parts we might’ve added for the purpose of literary embellishment, a common technique used by writers and news reporters to make them more interesting.

Though we strive for truth in details of our tales, we are ever aware that a story doesn’t have to be entirely true to be good — it must only be thoroughly creative and interesting!


That’s our story and we’re sticking to it. It’s cool to be Catholic. COOL2B!

In Christ.