Burgers! Fries! And A Conversation!

BULL SWAMP SC (CR News) — “If they don’t like drive-by’s, they shouldn’t have a “drive-through.” That’s how one old gentleman described the drive-through at Burger Joe’s recently.

Our Story

Burger Joe’s is a popular hamburger joint and gift shop located on the banks of the North Edisto River in the Bull Swamp.

One bystander identified the old man as “Mario,” a friendly, but dogmatic member of a nearby community.

“He’s the kind of man who calls them as he sees them,” Mario’s friend informed us.

Mario has been identified by the BSPD as the subject of an investigation into the latest drive-by incident to take place at Burger Joe’s.

“I’m a veteran, you see,” Mario told our news team. “I wear hearing aids from the Veterans Hospital. They don’t work so good. Those cheap speakers at Burger Joe’s make everything sound garbled!”

It Is Written

“The Bible says we’re all better off guarding our mouths,” Mario added.

“We shouldn’t just flap our lips and beat our gums with meaningless talk,” he offered.

“Anyway, I don’t think that’s an exact quote, but that’s what it means to me! You make of it what you want.”

[EDITORS NOTE: We determined that Mario was most likely referring to Prov 13:3.}

Life Goes On

According to the old man, he and his wife had stopped to pick up a couple of burgers and some fries. That’s when it all happened.

“It started innocent enough, if you know what I mean” Mario told our team. “People around here do this all the time. But when the guy inside got on the speaker and started talking, we both knew it was time for us to leave!”

“So me and my wife, we just drove away,” he said.

“I didn’t want to keep talking to that machine. I wasn’t raised that way,” he added. “I need to understand what someone is saying in order to be part of a conversation!”

The BSPD issued a brief statement saying that, while they’re still investigating the incident, no charges have been filed, and it’s not likely that any will be filed.

As Mario was pulling out of the parking lot, he had one more comment for our news team.

“I’m Catholic,” Mario said, as he pulled out of the parking lot. “The rest of this week, I’m going to live like everyday is Friday, if you know what I mean. No more burgers — we’re just eating fish!”


That’s our story and we’re sticking to it. It’s cool to be Catholic. COOL2B!

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Vivat Jesus!

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